Oh, the things I do for you.

I went to a tractor pull today. 


That's right. A TRACTOR pull. 


I saw more camo and boots than ever in my life. Being from West Tennessee, that is a feat in itself. 


I sat in a hard chair for four hours and watched souped up Fords and John Deere see how far they could get with a giant contraption called a sled hooked to the back of the vehicle. I inhaled A LOT of smoke, and had to cover my ears about 25% of the time I was there. 






I loved every second of it. 


What in the WORLD is wrong with me?

Where the heart is.

I sometimes feel like I'm too nice. I put too much faith and trust in people.  I always want to see the good.  The people that everyone hate?  I see some redeeming quality.  It's not that I don't want to dislike them.  In some ways I think it would be easier to dismiss them as jerks, write them off as not worth my time.  Unfortunately (or fortunately)  that is just not in my nature. 

       

Take you for example.  People can't stand you, and you're proud of that.  You say the most taboo things just so you can get a rise out of someone.  You intentionally build walls that no one can penetrate.  You do really awful things, and are a terrible communicator, and hurt me. On purpose.  And just when I've written you off for good... You surprise me.  You tear a brick down.  Bare a tiny piece of your soul.  And you're redeemed. 

It doesn't have to be much.  An impassioned speech about how a song affects you.  A genuine smile.  A reassurance that you really are grateful for my friendship.   A surprise decision-- or three.  All I know is that in those moments, the reasons why I let you in in the first place come rushing back.  You infuriate me.  You make me absolutely crazy... But you know me.  You know how to make me smile, and you challenge me in every way possible.  There IS a heart, buried underneath all that bravado and sarcasm. 

And so I will continue to wait.  Not for you, because I know that will never work.  I will wait for those moments, when you somehow trust me enough to let me in.

"When all the hard times outweigh the good, 

And all your words are misunderstood,
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart."

There's this musical.

So there's this musical that pretty much no one has ever heard of. Pretty much no one except the hardcore musical theatre geeks and their friends, anyway. I am one of those friends. I don't own every score known to man, so I don't consider myself to be quite the hardcore geek yet (getting there), but some of my friends are borderline ridiculous.


Anyway, one of these friends (remember the fabulous fabulous encouraging gay man from a few posts ago?) introduced me to the musical Bare. To this ex-Catholic schoolgirl/not so tiny girl, it is incredibly relatable. It is one of my favorite musicals, and it's only fair to share the wealth. 


Read more about Bare here and here. 

"And if you dance like hell, you hope you never touch the ground.

What happens when the music stops?"

I fail...

...at that daily listening update I talked about in the last post. 


So, to sort of make up for it, I'm posting two videos. 


First off... I'm a ridiculous Rachael Lampa fan. Have been since sixth grade. That's devotion. 


Anyway, she's finally broken out of her strictly Christian pop bubble (not that I minded that at all), grew up, got married, and stepped way outside of her comfort zone. I'm even more in love with her new stuff than I was with the old. 


Excuse the cheesy video-it was the only one I could find. 

The second video is from City and Colour. Now, if you are in the acoustic/acoustic folk world and don't know of them, you need to get acquainted. ASAP. Dallas Green (get it? CITY and COLOUR?) is amazing. 

 

"If they call this falling, I'm already all the way down."

What I'm listening to today.

I've decided to try and make a daily post of what I'm listening to currently. Someone is bound to find some new music to love. :)


To kick it off, here's a video from the Sara Bareilles concert my sister and I went to back in November. It deserves a post all its own, but for now I'll just give you a taste of how amazing it was. 

Oh yeah. We got to meet her too. That's right. Be jealous. 

"I have hope that inside is not a heart, but a kaleidoscope."

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas... One more time.

Another show down, and I'm as depressed as ever. I think the theatre bug bit me again, hard. White Christmas was the first show I have done since Godspell in 2008, and it was possibly the most rewarding theatrical experience I have had. This show, more than others, had its fair share of issues. We were forced to begin a week late because of another show at Playhouse. We also had nowhere to rehearse for the first three weeks of the show, so we played musical rehearsal spaces for a while. We also had no music director, trouble with costumes, and a severe lack of backstage crew. But we pulled it off in a way that hasn't been done before, in my experience. There was so much heart in this show and so many people willing to go above and beyond what was asked of them. I can't tell you how much outside work I did with people to make mine and their roles the best they could possibly be. 


So, to the cast of White Christmas, on the off chance that any of you read this...


Thank you. You're amazing. 

Matchmaker, matchmaker, bring me a match.

Match.com spam emailed me tonight. I think they heard tonight's conversation. 


To get through tomorrow night, I will either need a really strong drink or some awesome people to keep me from losing my mind. 


I'll go with the latter. 


My life is awesome.